Stuck In the Friend Zone?

You’ve done it again… gotten stuck in the Friend Zone. You wonder why you should even try. She says “we are just friends” and you think girls are just crazy. They are all screwed up… But what you don’t realize is that in personal development, everything is YOUR issue.

YOU are solely responsible for the outcomes you create in your life. That means that even when you feel vulnerable, you are powerful! You can tap into that power at any time by taking a step back and evaluating the situation. Then you can make the decision to create the outcomes you want. You are the author of your life.

Once you grasp this fact, you will stop making Rookie Beta mistakes. You will become more Alpha and score quality women who are on your level.

Here’s what I mean by Rookie Beta Mistakes:

Telling the person you just started seeing
that you’re not dating anyone else.

How could that be a good thing? No guy or girl wants to hear that the person they’re seeing is 1) completely available and 2) not being desired by other people. You have nothing going on so I can be your world. Oh joy!

Yeah right. People love a challenge. People value that which is harder to get and that which others want.

You have to stir some kind of competition and show that you are desired. ESPECIALLY so that you don’t end up “just friends”. Even if your cell hasn’t rang in 3 days, you have to make it seem like you’re important. I do not recommend lying to someone, by telling them that you are dating a whole lot of people if you are not.

Master the art of insinuation and if that doesn’t work, distraction.

And really, unless you’ve already agreed on some kind of committed relationship, then you should be dating, seeing, or hanging out with a minimum of 2 other people at all times for the pure experience of it…if they are not desirable to you, that’s okay. This will help you stay out of the Friend Zone. Another Rookie Mistake:

Being too available.

We all want what we can’t have. By accepting every (last-minute) invitation, returning text messages quickly, and being there at someone else’s beck and call, you set yourself up for a trip to the Friend Zone.

Make yourself unavailable, let the other person think about you in your absence… resist the urge to answer the phone, text back, or meet up. When you’re just friends, you can hang out whenever; when you’re someone’s object of desire, you’re a little out of reach.

Patience is at the heart of every seduction. I remember when I was talking to a guy once who made me wait for return phone calls, texts, and emails. I knew what he was doing, yet that did nothing to stop him from becoming bigger in my mind.

I thought about him constantly… checking my phone, checking for new emails… kinda like you do after a break-up. He drove me crazy… in a good way and fueled that good ‘ol sexual tension. Seduction is a dance where rushing it ruins everything.

Here’s another Beta Mistake:

Waiting until the end of the night
to plant a big, juicy kiss on your date.

I’ve written a whole article about this, but I must say it again… the end of the night is the absolute worst time to kiss your date. What if you have had all of this build up for a hug? How would you feel then? Kiss on the lips early to avoid awkwardness at the end of the date. Which brings me to another Beta Mistake:

Calling on the same night of the date.

This should be a no-brainer, but some people just don’t think about the outcomes their actions will produce.

Think about it: If I just had a great date with you, what can you say to me during a phone call later on that is going to make me like you more?

If you call someone, they don’t get the chance to sit back and reflect on the date. What are you going to recap together? People in the friend zone recap dates. Nothin’ good can come from that. Remember: absence is where desire is built. I want the chance to think about you in your absence, and your early phone call throws water on the flames of your seduction.

Too early = too anxious. No reason to do that. Instead, lay low. Do not make this mistake… have a great date, then WAIT one to two days to say “I had a great time with you”…through a text or email. Let the person see the words on a screen. It will do more for you than an ill-timed phone call. Time for Rookie Beta Mistake #5:

Giving the person a gift.

The first few dates are pretty much a war-zone. No one knows what’s really going on… no one knows what’s happening. Your best bet is to not complicate things with overt displays of affection through materialism.

Please… save your money for actual dating activities, not trinkets. You will appear desperate and thus get no vagina. Ladies, you may get penis, but that’s because penis is always readily available, as such, there is no need to pay for it.

And the last Beta Mistake for today that will get you tossed into the pit of Friend Zone Land:

Agreeing with the person all of the time.

Most people love a challenge. If you roll over like a doormat all the time, you definitely will end up “just friends”, banished forever to the Friend Zone.

Decide right now that your opinions and thoughts are valid. Be fearless in stating your personal truth, regardless if the other person agrees or not. You will gain their respect.

The Friend Zone is a tough place to break free from, so learn how not to get stuck there in the first place and you will have less problems in relationships.

Related Articles

* How to Love Yourself
* Alpha Male vs. Beta Male
* Dating Red Flags