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You can do it… you can have the love you’ve always wanted! Sure, it’s going to take a little hard work. Sure, you’ll be exposed to parts of yourself that you don’t like… but have hope, faith and love during your journey towards a healthy relationship. These things will propel you towards your goal. Your feelings will be everywhere along the way. Some of them will be great and exciting! They will boost your ego and you'll feel really good. You will also experience other feelings along the way...ones that don't feel 'good'... especially when you see how you really act, and what you really do in certain situations that lead to unhealthy relationships. You will come to understand that some of what you thought about yourself or always believed about yourself was either wrong, or just a shadow of who you really are. Deep down, underneath limiting beliefs and pointless insecurities, YOU ARE AMAZING. By getting real, you begin to feel how powerful you really are! It’s going to be a tough road, but well worth it. Most people don’t take the time to really look at their lives and figure out that when you improve relationship with "I", you improve relationships with others… Be happy that you’re one of the smart people who take the time to get to know yourself.
I'm writing this for you.... Ms. I-just-wanna-get-married. The chick who has everything about 'her day' planned to perfection, who's just waiting for her overly pressured boyfriend of two years or the nameless, faceless Mr. Right to pop the big question. I'm writing this for you... Ms. All-men-are-dogs and your friend Ms. I-can't-trust-because-of-what-he-did-to-me. You invite loser types into your life because you have no sense of self outside of relationship with another. You attract men undeserving of your trust because you don’t trust YOU. This is for Ms. He's-just-confused-right-now or Ms. He'll-come-around or Ms. I-can’t-live-without-him.... all deflection of your problems on to a guy who treats you like garbage, but you allow it because you have a low opinion of yourself (and therefore shouldn't be in a relationship anyway). Repeat after me: Improve Relationship with 'I' And lastly for Ms. I'll-eff-him-over-before-he-effs-me-over... believing that you're a player because you "got yours" when in actuality, even if dudes are paying ALL of your bills each notch still chips away at your self-worth until you're left with nothing but zero self-respect. How do I know all these women? And why do I have the right to label them? Because I have been ALL of them. Yep, that was me. In unhealthy relationship after unhealthy relationship... not realizing the KEY to improving any and every relationship. Say it with me: Improve relationship with 'I'. 
What happens to us women when we get into relationships? The really unhealthy relationships? Why do we make men priorities in our lives, when we are nothing but options to them? It's disturbing that so many of us don't understand that we command respect from a partner by our ability to walk away - and find someone better (or be alone) if they don't treat us the way we deserve to be treated. An unhealthy relationship stems from an unhealthy relationship with 'I'.During these relationships, we sulk, cry, over-eat, or don't eat at all, and stress ourselves out, trying to make it work when our partner closes up, withdraws, distances himself, treats us badly, or tries to control us. Worse, sometimes we feel guilty for being assertive and demanding proper treatment from partners in relationships. Even when we treat these people well! We allow them to treat us poorly, then feel bad when we ask to be respected! How crazy is that? Women, it's our duty to use our mental powers to control... not men, not anyone "out there", but 'I' - OURSELVES. We are our own worst enemies and our greatest aggressors. LOVE YOURSELF and others will love you. It’s funny how we want true love from someone who will fit our specific desirable qualities, without asking ourselves if we looking for him to have what we lack. The idea that we should have a partner who is ambitious and financially-set, when we don’t have our career plans and finances in order, is a joke. We want a someone who is good-looking and in shape, when we sit on the couch rather than going to the gym. We want a person who is intelligent and can make us laugh… but our own conversation skills are lacking. Then we wonder why we are stuck with those who do not fit our criteria. Like attracts like. 
This is a fundamental law of the universe. We attract those who are similar to ourselves. We tend to like those people who reflect our qualities back to us, good and bad. When we have an unhealthy relationship with 'I', we attract unhealthy relationships with others. If you want someone who is physically, mentally, emotionally and financially fit, you have to be that way. You must embody all of the characteristics that you seek in a partner. That way you don’t end up with someone who is also not “whole”. Become the total package and you will attract the total package. Simple concept, but definitely not easy to do. In order to do this, to become the total package, you must: Yep, you guessed it... Improve relationship with 'I' first. In other words, Know yourself Accept yourself Love yourself And you must do all of this first. This is how you become attractive to your true love… healthy self-love encourages wholeness. Once you love yourself, you will find someone who also loves his or herself. That person will be coming to you, not broken or emotionally damaged… they will have already handled their own issues. They will be ready to accept and return your love. Improve relationship with 'I' - Let this be your mantra. Related Articles * How to Love Yourself * Alpha Female Behavior * Dating Red Flags
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