| |
Reverse Love Definition
Looking for the Definition of Love? Here’s my admittedly long love definition.
But first, here's the definition of love by Ayn Rand:
"Love is the expression of one's values, the greatest reward you can earn for the moral qualities you have achieved in your character and person, the emotional price paid by one man for the joy he receives from the virtues of another."
By this definition, I love Ayn Rand...and a ton of other people!
I was on a discussion board once and people were trying to define LOVE. It was interesting to read everyone's views on the subject, yet no one could quite pinpoint it. I think that's because love is indescribable... so I decided to take a minute to say what I think it ISN'T in hopes that it would lead me closer to articulating what it is. I will reverse define it in seven parts below.
Side note: My views are always true in that moment and subject to change or revision. Always a work in progress :)
Reverse Love Definition – Part 1
I believe that love is not dependent on a relationship with another.
~ Love is a state of being. Only when one has love within oneself is it possible to be shared. Yes, others can introduce us to our love within through relationships, but it's up to us to see it. After truly seeing/accepting ourselves and loving who we are beneath the mask, beyond the ego, are we able to radiate love outward to others.
Reverse Love Definition – Part 2
I believe that love has no possessive quality.
~ While many of us try to hold on to love, I think we are chasing our tails. Love grows like a wild flower; it devours and then as quickly as it comes, it goes. It cannot be tamed. It cannot be manufactured. It is either there or it isn't. The moment we try to possess it or capture it, we are acting from fear, not from love.
Reverse Love Definition – Part 3
I believe that love is not the highest value or virtue.
~ I think that freedom is. I think that love is a stepping stone to freedom. When it is experienced, both as a state of being and as an implement in relating, it offers us nirvana.
Reverse Love Definition – Part 4
I believe that love is not synonymous with loyalty.
~ I think that love and loyalty are polar opposites. When lovers try to capture love, hold on to love and demand love, it loses its essence. Love is in flux. Love is insecure. Mandating love through religious or societal means is a recipe for misery. For instance, the soldier who loves his country does not really love; he is loyal. If he loved he would not be willing to sacrifice himself for an ideal. He would not be willing to kill another for love. Love doesn't ask for that.
Reverse Love Definition – Part 5
I believe that love is not altruistic.
~ Love has more of a selfish quality than an altruistic one. While selfishness has gotten a bad rap in this culture, the idea that we give love to other people for their gain or pleasure is just silly. When we relate to others, when we share the love inside of us with others we do it for our own benefit. The person who hates himself cannot love... he can only be dependent. His feelings of self-worth are tied into his good deeds and other's opinions. That isn't love. Love starts with the giver and ends with the giver, which means that it is a selfish (I'd rather say self-ful) act. Only when a person loves himself is he able to love another.
Reverse Love Definition – Part 6
I believe that love is not sexual.
~ Making love is an act. Loving is a state. Intimacy is an outgrowth of love. And intimacy doesn't necessarily have to be sexual. Some of the most intimate moments come from just being with someone, sharing ideas, melting into the flow. There need not be any physical contact to have a loving experience.
Reverse Love Definition – Part 7
I believe that love does not depend on trusting the other.
~ If I trust myself and allow myself to open up to someone, I am letting my love flow. I don't have to trust the other person. I can share my love with a perfect stranger. I can give freely because I trust myself... trusting in the sense that I accept my own boundaries, integrity and emotional outpouring. I don't have to believe that the person with whom I share love is trustworthy. In fact, I think that the only person I can really trust is myself, because I think that's the only person I can ever really know.
I still don't think that the BEAUTY of love can be explained. It's a strangely wonderful mystery that adds richness and flavor to our lives. I am at a point in my life when I find myself in this joyous, TRUTHful and blissful state more and more... being real... and relating to others in a very real way.
Call me a romantic, but I love LOVE... and I'm finding that experiencing it leads me away from social/cultural, gender, and religious programming and allows me the FREEDOM to be ME.
Return from Reverse Love Definition to Love Yourself BLOG, please click here.
|
